


Speak Up

by Nightfoot



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Angst, Fluri Week, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightfoot/pseuds/Nightfoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flynn was always waiting for the right time to act on those looks they shared. When Yuri returns from Tarqaron, he seems… different, and Flynn fears it might be too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speak Up

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt "The wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start" for Fluri Week. This story contains a couple elements that could potentially be triggering. They are also highly spoilery. I'm going to write them in rot13 and you can go [here](http://www.rot13.com/) to decode the warnings if you know you have triggers. So, warnings for: frkhny nffnhyg naq fhvpvqr
> 
> This was inspired by Terry Pratchett's A Hat Full of Sky

Flynn stood at the gates of Aurnion, watching Yuri. He'd been worried when he realized Estelle wasn't at the inn and a knight informed him she'd been seen heading to the town entrance. When he arrived, he saw her with Yuri and felt silly for being concerned. He wasn't close enough to overhear their conversation, but it finished soon after he got there anyway. Estelle turned and gave Yuri a hug before heading back to the town. Yuri stayed standing in the field, staring out into the night.

Estelle stopped when she reached the gateway and spotted him. "Oh, hello, Flynn." She beamed and came closer. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long. I apologize for intruding. I heard you'd left the town perimeter and was concerned."

"Sorry for worrying you, but I was ok. Yuri was with me."

Flynn nodded and his eyes turned to Yuri. "Yes, I see that. I worried about you a lot during your journey, but it seems I didn't have to. There's no one you'd be safer with than Yuri."

The light breeze made Yuri's hair flutter and Flynn could only imagine the thoughts keeping Yuri rooted to the spot and staring at the sky. Tomorrow, Yuri and his friends were going to Tarqaron to combat the Adephagos.

"Flynn…" Estelle's hand landed on his shoulder. "It really is silly, you know."

Flynn tore his eyes from Yuri. "I beg your pardon?"

"I see it in books all the time. It's so frustrating when the author drags it out for so long! I think that if you really like someone, you should let them know."

Flynn's Adam's apple bobbed. "Lady Estellise, what are you saying?"

She just smiled. "Yuri said he wants to stay out for a few more minutes. No one else is out here, you know. I'm going to bed now, but  _I_  think you and Yuri have some things to talk about."

She hugged him and by the time her words sank in, his cheeks were as pink as her hair. Estelle smiled and said goodnight, leaving Flynn lurking at the entrance. Yuri was still out there, and Estelle's words rang in his head. Unfortunately, her words were the  _only_  ones in his head, because his own thought processes had gone blank. His body moved of its own accord and suddenly he was standing next to Yuri, still unsure of what he wanted to say.

They stood in silence for almost a minute. Then Yuri said, "You know, it's kind of pretty."

Flynn looked up at the undulating form of the Adephagos. "It's going to kill everyone."

"Sometimes deadly things are beautiful. Hey, just look at Judy." Yuri lowered his head and looked to Flynn. "Shouldn't you be in bed? You're heading out pretty early."

"I could say the same to you. You're going somewhere much more dangerous."

"I'll be fine. You're the one who has to deal with politics." He shuddered. "Terrifying."

"We have no idea what to expect up there. This is the biggest fight of your life. How can you be so calm?"

Yuri's gaze turned to the Adephagos once more. "Because I know I'm not going up there alone. Besides, I know that if anything does happen to me, there'll still be someone down here to carry things through."

Flynn's chest clenched at the mention of anything happening up there. He was a soldier and he was used to watching friends go into battle, but those battles were never this dire and those friends were never Yuri Lowell. Those friends never made his heart skip when they looked at him in a certain way and never made him open a window after lying in bed and daydreaming got a little too heated. "Yuri…."

"Hm?" Yuri met his eyes.

Flynn's mouth fell open, but no words came out. The only ones he could find in his head were Estelle's, but more than ever he needed his own right now. He needed to tell Yuri how much he meant to him, to make sure everything he felt was out in the open just in case… in case this was his last chance. So many times he'd swallowed down the words to ask if Yuri could possibly be interested in making something new out of their friendship, but  _this_ time he was going to say it.

And then… he didn't.

Yuri's eyes stared right back into his and after years of knowing each other, Flynn could notice the subtleties. The way his eyebrows lowered in anticipation, the quiver in the corner of his lips as he considered saying something, the clenching in the jaw from steeling himself for an act of bravery.

He didn't say anything either.

 _This is dumb_ , Flynn reprimanded himself. He could read Yuri's expression like a book and every fear of rejection flitted away. Yuri didn't speak because his eyes said  _yes, I do_ , loud and clear. Energy buzzed between them and Flynn noticed so many things, like how soft Yuri's lips looked in the moonlight or how confidently he held his shoulders these days. All it would take was one of them to reach out and grab the other's hand, and yet neither could quite get the muscles to move.

Yuri broke the deafening silence with a glance at the sky and, "We should head in. Busy days tomorrow."

"Right." Flynn coughed; he hadn't meant his voice to be that husky. This was for the best. Yuri had a huge responsibility to take care of tomorrow and complicating life with romance would just be a distraction. This wasn't the time to weigh him down with confessions and novelty. That sort of thing could wait until the world was peaceful again.

Flynn followed Yuri back into Aurnion. Despite those thoughts, he couldn't help wondering if he'd missed the perfect opportunity. Either way, it was too late now.

* * *

Brave Vesperia's triumphant return was to take place in Zaphias. The good thing about the Adephagos was that it was a very public event and even from the ground he'd known that Yuri was successful. In the day between the Adephagos being destroyed and Brave Vesperia arriving in Zaphias, Flynn barely stopped smiling.

Yuri had  _done_  it. Even now, Ioder was explaining that it was Flynn's actions that saved the planet. They'd discussed this in advance; Flynn needed notches in his belt for career reasons more than Yuri did, so though Flynn hated to think he was riding Yuri's coattails, he was getting the official credit. But  _Flynn_  knew who was responsible, and the second-hand pride he felt for Yuri was just as fulfilling as if he'd been done it himself. All he'd ever wanted since he was a kid was to see his best friend succeed, and now he'd blossomed in ways Flynn would struggle to catch up with.

Flynn was in Ioder's office when a knight knocked and announced Princess Estellise's arrival. They hurried down the halls to the front entrance, Flynn reminding himself that he needed to be appear dignified to his subordinates and dashing through the halls like a dog whose beloved human was home wouldn't accomplish that.

Flynn and Ioder burst into the grand entrance hall, where the cluster of figures near the door were dwarfed by marble pillars. He hadn't realized until this moment just how worried he'd been. He'd seen the Adephagos destroyed and known the world was safe, but now he saw his friends and his heart swelled to see that they were safe as well.

Then Yuri turned and met his eyes and gave Flynn that cocky smile of his. Everything was all right.

"Flynn!" Estelle beamed and ran forward to hug him. "It's good to see you."

"You as well. I'm glad you made it home safe."

"Yes." There was a flicker of something in her eyes, but it vanished too quickly to discern. "We're all so relieved it's over."

"The chefs have prepared a lunch for you all," Ioder said. "I wanted to ensure a proper homecoming for you, Estellise."

Karol grinned. "That's great, I'm starving!"

The assembled group started to leave the entrance hall, but then Yuri said, "I hate hanging out in the castle. You guys go ahead; I'm grabbing lunch in the Comet."

The cheerful mood dwindled. Estelle and Rita exchanged a look while Flynn's forehead creased with concern.

"Are you feeling all right, Yuri?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just don't want to eat here. See you guys later."

Yuri strode away and Flynn looked to the others in confusion. "Did something happen?"

Brave Vesperia glanced between themselves until Raven explained, "He's been kinda… not himself since we got back from Tarqaron."

"He's been really quite rude," Judith put in.

"I think he's just tired," Estelle said, watching the door slam shut as Yuri left. "Fighting Duke and then vanquishing the Adephagos took a lot out of him."

"I'm going to talk to him." Flynn turned to Ioder, "Your Majesty, please forgive me for missing lunch."

"Please go ahead. If Yuri isn't feeling well, you should look out for him. We all owe him a great debt."

"Thank you. I'll see all of you later." Flynn ran across the hall to catch up with Yuri.

Yuri was already midway down the street when Flynn reached him. "Hey."

"Yo. Something wrong?"

"I was going to ask you that."

Yuri shrugged. "I feel fine. I'm just kind of hungry and didn't want to eat at the castle. Do you want to come help me?"

"With what, eating?"

"What? Yeah, do you want to come with me?"

Flynn felt like he'd missed a step in this conversation, but nodded. "Sure. I want to hear all about Tarqaron."

"I'll tell you as we walk."

Yuri kept his story short. Something was clearly on his mind, but Flynn couldn't put his finger on it. He'd get more details from Estelle later tonight, but even the truncated version he heard was compelling.

"I'm so impressed, Yuri," Flynn said as they reached the Comet. "You accomplished so much."

"Yes, I did."

Inside, they placed their orders at the front and sat down to wait for food. "Have you had a chance to rest since leaving Tarqaron?"

"Not a lot. We checked in with the guilds in Aurnion first and then popped over to Dahngrest to talk to Harry. Listen to me I took a nap on the ship while heading here."

Flynn nodded pensively. Yuri hadn't had a proper night's sleep since the night before the Adephagos, and even that was assuming he'd slept well with that on his mind. His patience and energy must be worn thin. Yuri would feel himself after a proper rest.

And then… then they could have a proper conversation. The words to explain how he felt had been stirring around Flynn's brain every spare minute since the Adephagos disappeared and he had to quell the urge to spout them now. Yuri obviously wasn't in any state of mind to have a serious emotional conversation at the moment, so it would have to wait. Flynn clung to the memory of the look they'd shared that night. When the time to talk was right, he felt almost confident he'd get the answer he craved. Almost.

When the food arrived, Yuri ate silently. Flynn let him eat in peace and when they were done, said, "You should head upstairs and take a nap."

"Yeah, I think that sounds like a good plan." Yuri shoved his plate forward and then snapped, "Why aren't you paying attention?"

Flynn jolted at the sudden bite to Yuri's voice. "What?"

"What?"

"Paying attention to what?"

Yuri frowned. "What are you talking about?" He stood up and walked away from the table.

"Wait – aren't you going to pay?"

Yuri shrugged. "Why should I? I saved the world. They all owe me."

The waitress watched him go and then turned to Flynn, expecting payment. Flynn didn't mind paying for Yuri's lunch, but to see Yuri march out as if he was entitled to a free lunch was unnerving. And what was he supposed to be paying attention to?

Distracted by worries, Flynn counted out coins to leave on the table. Outside, he heard the door to Yuri's room slam shut. Good, at least he was going to take a rest.

* * *

Karol hadn't seen Yuri since before lunch. Flynn returned to the castle that afternoon and explained Yuri wasn't feeling well and had gone to take a nap. Karol hoped that was all it was; Yuri had been behaving so weird ever since they left Tarqaron. He was blunt and arrogant and hadn't been acting like himself at all.

Tonight, they were staying at the castle. Estelle insisted. In a few days, they'd head back to Dahngrest and get everything sorted out, but after everything they'd been through they all agreed they deserved a break. Karol lay on the bed in the guest room and stared at the ceiling with a smile. This was the comfiest bed he'd ever slept on and knowing all the scary things on their journey were finally over was like setting his bag down after a long day.

The door knocked and Yuri's voice said, "It's me."

Karol bounded off the bed. Yuri was awake! He must have napped all afternoon and then decided to come around and apologize for his behaviour.

Yuri opened the door before Karol could reach it. "Hey, Karol."

"Hi, Yuri! How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you've seemed kind of… irritable lately."

"I'm fine now. Listen!" Yuri strolled over to Karol's bed and took a seat.

Karol stood in front of him. "Listen to what?"

"What? I didn't say anything."

Karol knit his eyebrows. "Uh… are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, I told you. Anyway, I just came here to tell you that I've been doing some thinking. I've decided I'm going to be the boss of the guild from now on."

Karol almost fell over. "Ah – uh – what?"

"It doesn't make sense that you're the boss, right? I mean, I'm stronger, older, smarter, and more accomplished. It's basically my guild already."

"But… you said…." Karol fumbled for a response. How could Yuri be saying this? It didn't make any sense! "Ha… haha, this is a joke, right?"

Yuri rose to his feet and Karol found himself taking a step back. Karol had always found Yuri's strength and size comforting, but suddenly it intimidated him. "No, this isn't a joke. You're the joke. You're just a little kid and you expect people to take you seriously as the boss of a guild? You're lucky I don't I'm sorry kick you out altogether. Now are you going to hand over control peacefully or are you going to this isn't make a whiney fuss?"

Karol took a deep breath and stood up as tall as he could. "No, Yuri, I am not going to hand over control peacefully." Only a few months ago, he would have caved at the first sign of conflict, but he wasn't the same boy anymore. He was more sure of himself and it was Yuri he had to thank for that. "You're not feeling yourself, Yuri. We're going to talk about this as a guild."

Yuri paused, stared at Karol's stubborn face, considered something, and then his fist crashed into Karol's nose. Karol shouted in shock and Yuri gripped the collar of his shirt. After another solid punch made the world spin, Yuri tossed him to the ground and kicked him.

"That was pathetic. You didn't even shit I'm so fight back! You think  _you_  deserve to be the get help boss of our guild?"

Karol quivered on the floor, cradling his head and bloody nose. Something was wrong. This was not a case of Yuri just being tired or feeling out of sorts, something was seriously  _wrong_  with him and the words slipping into his sentences were the key.

"See you later, Karol. If you challenge my authority again, I'll have to stop me get rid of you permanently."

The door slammed shut and Karol remained still. His face ached from the blows, but not nearly as much as his heart. One thing was clear: Yuri needed help. When Yuri's footsteps were far away, Karol slowly uncurled and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He needed to warn the others and get help for Yuri before it was too late.

Karol rubbed blood off his upper lip and ran to find Raven.

* * *

Flynn was in his office when Yuri arrived. He had a lot of work to do getting the Empire in order after Alexei and the Adephagos, and he was in for quite a few late nights in the coming weeks. Yuri didn't knock before entering, but then Flynn never expected him to.

"Good evening, Yuri."

Yuri kicked the door shut with his heel and strode across the room to Flynn's desk. "Busy night?" he asked as he swung into a chair across from Flynn.

"It's to be expected." Flynn put his pen in the cup on the desk to show Yuri had his full attention. "Are you feeling better now?"

Yuri grinned that cocky Yuri grin. "I'm feeling great."

"Good." Flynn folded his hands and suddenly realized how alone they were. It's not like he hadn't known the office was empty save for them, but in the long silence as they stared across the desk, the privacy amplified.

Was this the moment he'd been waiting for? He and Yuri were alone and should be for the rest of the night. Yuri was well-rested now, back in his right mind, and with the Adephagos eliminated Flynn no longer had an excuse to put this off. Across the desk, Yuri's eyes met his and once again Flynn felt electricity buzz in the air as the words swelling in his throat threatened to smother him.

His eyes danced across Yuri's handsome face. The strong jaw speckled with stubble because he hadn't bothered shaving in the past few days, the long black hair that Flynn constantly struggled to stop daydreaming about twining between his fingers, the powerful muscles scarcely hidden under his shirt, the… blood on his knuckles?

"Are you hurt?"

"Huh? Why would I be?"

Flynn gestured at Yuri's hand, but now that he looked closely, he could tell it was smeared from another source. "Were you in a fight?"

Yuri glanced at his knuckles and then wiped the evidence away with his other hand. "Don't worry about it. I just had guild things to sort out with Karol. Anyway, this is dumb. I'm tired of Karol's hurt beating around the bush with you."

Flynn frowned. "What about Karol?"

"He has nothing to do with this help me." Yuri stood and rounded the desk.

Sorting out guild things with Karol? Blood on his knuckles? Karol was hurt? "Yuri, what the hell is going on?"

"What's going on is please stop me I've been into you for literal years and I'm not putting this bullshit off any longer help me!"

Something was deeply wrong with Yuri, and Flynn rose to confront him. Just as he stood, Yuri reached him, grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands and twisted. He shoved Flynn into the wall behind his desk and in seconds he'd pressed his lips over Flynn's own. The action surprised Flynn so much he forgot how to react for the first two seconds. His skin crackled with electricity as Yuri's mouth brushed across his face and then bit Flynn's lower lip.

"Stop!" Flynn shoved Yuri back. "We need to talk about Karol."

"What does Karol have to do with I'm sorry making out with you?" Yuri pressed forward again, mouth open to kiss, but Flynn pushed back.

"Now isn't the time, Yuri."

Yuri ignored him. One hand curled around Flynn's back and slid toward his ass while the other gripped Flynn's shoulder. Despite himself, Flynn's heart fluttered and skin tingled with anticipation. He'd wanted this for so long and now Yuri was laying it on him. None of that mattered, though, because Yuri was clearly not well and they needed to get to the bottom of this.

"I said not now." He grabbed the hand on his shoulder, but then Yuri grabbed his wrist and pinned it against the wall.

"I'm not putting this off I'm so sorry any longer."

Flynn attempted to break his wrist free while pushing against Yuri with his other. He turned his face away to avoid Yuri's insistent tongue. Yuri grabbed Flynn's other arm and pressed both wrists against the wall on either side of his head.

"Get off me," Flynn growled as he tried to land a solid kick.

Yuri didn't answer, just moaned and ground his hips against Flynn's.

"Yuri! Snap out of-" Yuri's mouth covered his and silenced his shout.

 _This can't be happening._ This shouldn't be happening to  _him_ , and it definitely shouldn't be Yuri doing it. Despite all their years of closeness, Flynn suddenly found he was frightened of Yuri.

Flynn's foot smashed into Yuri's instep and Yuri let out a shout, loosening his grip. Flynn shoved him the rest of the way off but before he could take more than a step, Yuri's fist smashed into his cheek and rattled his teeth.

"You're going to pay please help me for that!" He grabbed Flynn and shoved him against the wall so hard his head thunked.

The office door burst open. "Let him go, Yuri!" Raven barked, arrow notched and ready to fire.

Yuri jerked his head around, still holding Flynn against the wall. "Privacy, geeze! Flynn and I are a bit busy right now."

Flynn saw the dried blood on Karol's face and easily connected it to Yuri's knuckles. His head spun from banging it and he panted from the exertion of fighting of Yuri.

"Flynn," Raven said slowly, "are you and Yuri playing rough or do you need help?"

"Yuri is-"

Yuri clamped his hand over Flynn's mouth. "Shhh."

This freed one of Flynn's arm so he twisted and punched Yuri in the ribs. "Something's come over him. He needs help."

"Yuri," Karol said, "we want to help you. Calm down and we can talk about this."

Yuri stepped away from Flynn and wiped his mouth on his wrist. "Whatever."

Flynn took deep breaths and dried to calm his heartrate. He straightened his collar as Yuri approached Raven and Karol, but his hands were still shaking. He'd daydreamed about what a first kiss with Yuri might be like, but that had been a nightmare. He couldn't bring himself to walk closer to Yuri right now, and hovered by his desk while Raven spoke to Yuri.

"What's eatin' ya, kid?" Raven lowered his bow. "Did somethin' happen at Tarqaron?"

"There's nothing wrong. Maybe I'm just feeling you have to stop me confident after the big win. It's not me!"

The three of them stared at him. Yuri didn't even seem to notice these outbursts and Flynn was beginning to piece together a theory. He only had the middle part of the theory because he had no idea how it had happened or what they could do about it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that either this wasn't actually Yuri speaking, or he was being controlled by somebody else.

Yuri's sudden movement startled them. His arms lashed out and snatched Raven's bow. In the same movement he hurled it across the room and took off running. Raven paused for a moment to look between his weapon and Yuri, and then followed Yuri. Karol and Flynn were right behind him, but Yuri had a head start and he'd always been the fastest runner.

They followed him around two corners, but after the third one, he'd vanished. They couldn't even hear his footsteps up ahead anymore.

"Damn," Raven panted from a few feet behind, leaning on his knees. "This old man can't keep up with you young'uns."

Karol groaned in frustration. "He got away!"

"Do you think he's a danger ta others?"

Flynn took a deep breath and tried to think. "I'm… not sure. Karol, why did he hit you?"

Karol's eyes turned down and he scowled. "Well, he… he told me he wanted to be the boss of our guild from now on. He said some really rude things and then I told him no and we'd talk about it as a guild, so he – he hit me."

"What about you?" Raven turned his eyes on him. "Did anything happen?"

Flynn blushed. "We, er, were just sitting at my desk. I asked him what was up and why he had blood on his knuckles," he glanced nervously at Karol, "and then he said he was tired of waiting and just… jumped me."

Karol frowned and rubbed his chin. "It's like he's acting completely impulsively."

"He's certainly not accepting 'no' as an answer," Flynn added with a deepening blush.

"We need to find him. He might get in a lot of trouble and I'm really worried about him."

Flynn nodded. "He won't stay in the castle. Let's head to the streets and search."

They rushed to the main entrance, but when they arrived, they stopped short. Gathered in the front hall was Estelle, Rita, and Judith, but most surprising was the guest they were speaking with.

Duke turned his crimson gaze on them when they arrived. "Ah, the entire group is gathered. Good. We have much to discuss."

"This is about Yuri, isn't it?" Karol asked.

"Oh, Karol, are you all right?" Estelle rushed to him. "You're bruised."

Judith grimaced. "I think we can guess who hit him."

Rita gaped at her. "You don't think Yuri would…?"

Flynn fixed his gaze on Duke. "What's going on with Yuri?"

* * *

Yuri stood in Flynn's bedroom, staring in his mirror. The others probably thought he'd left the castle, but he'd fooled them and doubled back. Ha! And they thought they were smarter than him. Who were they?  _He_  was the one who'd wielded the immense power at Tarqaron.  _He'd_  destroyed the Adephagos. Barbos, Alexei, Ragou, Cumore, Duke… no one had ever successfully stood in his way. With this power, he could have anything he wanted and that was exactly how it should be.

In the back of his head, a distance noise like wind at the end of a tunnel grew louder. If he thought about it, it sounded like words.

_Who are you? Leave my friends alone!_

Yuri shook his head and silenced the voice. He'd been hearing it since Tarqaron but he chalked it up to stress and weariness.

What was Flynn's problem? He  _knew_  Flynn wanted him, so why had he rejected him? Yuri had desired him for so long, but kept himself away for fear of tarnishing his image. He was confident now, though, and no silly thing like politics or reputation would keep him from what he wanted. Yuri's body warmed with the thought of ripping Flynn's clothes off and falling into bed together. For  _so long_ he'd waited to feel Flynn's soft skin rub against his, and now that he made his move, Flynn turned him away? How dare he! Flynn was going to pay for that.

A stinging sensation on the back of his hand caused him to look down. Yuri yanked the knife away from his hand. Carved into his flesh were crudely formed letters: HEL-

Frowning, Yuri tucked the knife into his belt and hunted in Flynn's room for a first aid kit. He found an apple gel in the desk by Flynn's bed and the bleeding stopped after swallowing it. There was a lemon gel in the drawer as well, and Yuri pocketed this. You never knew when a gel might come in handy.

Something in the back of his head reprimanded him for stealing from Flynn, but Yuri ignored this.

Now, he needed to find Flynn. He wasn't going to let this unresolved tension drone on any longer. Either Flynn agreed and they could move on with making out, or Yuri would kill him so he could put the problem behind him.

* * *

"The being you've been speaking with is not Yuri Lowell."

The gathered group stared at Duke. Raven said, "That, I think, is blindingly obvious."

Estelle covered her mouth with her hand. "Then, who is it?"

They sat in a small meeting room off the front hall. Flynn sat with his arms folded and a dour expression. He should have known better than to believe all their problems were over when the Adephagos was destroyed.

"It is not, strictly speaking a 'who'. It's more of a conglomerate entity made up of dozens of partially formed consciousness."

Karol gaped at him. "Uh… what?"

"This is related to the Adephagos, isn't it?" Rita asked. She sat next to Estelle, who gripped one of her hands.

Duke nodded. "When the Adephagos was eliminated, all the thousands of spirits trapped inside were released. Most of them took on their previous spiritual forms, but some of them had been trapped for so long that their minds decayed and they had nothing left to go back to. They latched onto the first mind they could reach – Yuri's. He was at the epicentre of the flow of energy, and they seeped into his mind where they formed consciousness."

"So he's being controlled by ancient spirits?" Judith asked. Her eyes turned to Flynn. "Why are ancient spirits concerned with making moves on Flynn?"

Flynn blushed and shuffled his feet.

"They believe they are Yuri Lowell. The spirits are not fully sapient and have taken on the mind of the host."

"It's like tofu!"

All eyes turned to Karol.

"Well, I mean… it's like how tofu doesn't have a real flavour and it tastes like whatever you put it in."

After a pause, Duke said, "That metaphor is… surprisingly succinct. Yes, that is close to what has happened here. They think they are Yuri Lowell, but they are a pale imitation. They know his memories and basic emotions, but lack the humanity to make proper decisions."

"So…" Karol tried to keep his face from showing his grief, "this is how Yuri's always truly felt? He just never acted on these desires before?"

"No," Duke said and Karol visible relaxed. "The new consciousness knows Yuri's past and they are acting how they  _think_  Yuri should behave in his own best interest. They have no concept of right or wrong, of humility, or of friendship. They have only ambition and an animalistic desire for strength and power in whatever means possible. They are not evil – they do not know the meaning of the word. However, while they mean you no harm, they could potentially cause a great deal."

This was horrible to imagine, so Flynn asked the most pertinent question. "How do we fix it?" He didn't like the long, thoughtful gaze Duke gave him. Flynn pressed, "I know the real Yuri is still in here. He's trying to break out and regain control. How do we free him?"

"I do not know," Duke said. "I was warned of what occurred by fully-formed spirits and came to inform you, but nothing of this nature has ever happened before. The only solution the spirits could suggest was that the beings in his mind would be released upon death."

"We're not killing him," Estelle said firmly. "No matter what. Yuri didn't give up on me, so I won't give up on him."

"I'll talk to him," Flynn said. "He's trying to break out. I think we can coax the real Yuri out. He can fight this."

"I wish you luck," Duke said. "If I find any answers, I will share them with you post haste."

"Thank you for your help," Estelle said.

After Duke left, the group shared a long silence. Flynn spoke up first.

"I'm going to go find him."

"We should all look for him," Judith said. "I'm worried about him being out there alone."

Karol shuddered. "Yeah. There's no telling what he'll get up to."

"We'll split into groups," Estelle said. "Rita and I will search the royal quarter, Raven and Karol can search the public quarter, Judy and Repede can search the lower quarter, and Flynn, you stay in the castle in case he comes back looking for you. Whoever finds him first, bring him back here and we can all confront him as friends and try to get through to Yuri."

They all nodded and hopped to their feet. They had a friend to find.

* * *

Flynn roamed the hallways, unable to relax. He wanted to be out on the streets with the others, but Estelle had a point about remaining here. He had the best chance of breaking through to Yuri, so when they found him and brought him back to the castle, Flynn needed to be here.

The clanking of a knight hurried toward him. "Sir!"

Flynn whirled around on high alert. "What's the situation?"

"I thought I'd inform you that Yuri Lowell was in the throne room. He told us he was meeting you there and had permission and we all know he was the one to calm things down in Zaphias, so the others let him through. I was just worried, because he seemed a bit… off. I thought I'd check with you to make sure it's ok."

Yuri was still in the castle!? Damn, and the others were all out roaming the streets. "Thank you. I'll be right there."

Flynn rushed to the throne room. Ioder hadn't even had his official coronation yet, so it remained unused for now. Inside, Flynn scanned the huge room for Yuri and didn't see him. His eyes landed on the open doorway above the throne – the way to the Sword Stair. It had been unlocked ever since Yuri was here to rescue Estelle, and no one could yet figure out how to seal it again.

Flynn ran up the stairs and down the short hall. He came out at the foot of the ramp that curved up to the platform and briefly considered going back for help. He had no idea what to expect from Yuri, and it wouldn't be too hard to have his knights barricade the entrance to the throne room and keep him in here. The thought of Yuri at the top of the Stair pulled him onward, though. He had to know what he was doing up there, and his eagerness to bring Yuri back to normal kept him from taking any delays.

By the time Flynn raced to the top, he was out of breath. The ramp was steep and only his fear kept him going. From the top, the view of Zaphias was breathtaking. It could be literally breath-taking, Flynn thought as he glanced over the edge and saw just how far it was to the ground.

His attention turned to Yuri, who hadn't noticed him yet. Yuri paced in circles around the platform, clutching the sides of his head and muttering to himself. Flynn caught his breath and then slowly approached. When he got near, he could make out what Yuri was saying.

"Shut up, shut up, shut – I saved Estelle here. It was me. Remember when she hugged me – go away! This is me – I am Yuri Lowell – you aren't, shut up – get the hell out of my brain – it's _mine_  – I fought her! Right here! Remember! I'd never felt such despair and happiness so close together – leave me alone!"

It must have been the memories that pulled Yuri up here, Flynn realized. The real Yuri trying to regain control was using the intensity of the memories as an anchor for his consciousness. He definitely seemed closer to the surface now than ever before. If intense emotion could bring Yuri back, Flynn might have a chance.

"Yuri."

Yuri spun around and gave him a poisonous glare. "What do you Flynn! Help- want?"

Flynn took careful steps forward. He felt like he was approaching a startled deer and any movement might make him bolt. "I want to help you, Yuri."

"I don't need any help me."

"You're feeling confused, right? You're trying to get your head in order." He was only a few feet from Yuri now. He was talking to the false one, trying to pacify it enough that his Yuri could break free. "There's a voice in your head trying to take over. I can help."

Yuri snarled, "What do you know?"

Memory and strong emotion was the key. Give Yuri something solid to anchor himself to. Something he could fight with every fibre of his being to hold onto. "I know that I'm in love with you."

Yuri jolted and took a sharp breath. "Flynn – I'm trying – stop annoying me! This is my body!"

While Yuri was frozen, Flynn grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. "You can do it, Yuri. We made a promise to fight to make people smile, remember? Remember that!"

Yuri's body shook and Flynn gripped him tighter.

"You used to pull us into ridiculous shenanigans when we were teenagers, remember? Remember when you wanted to try 'urban sledding' and raced down the hill to the lower quarter on an old cart? And you crashed and broke your wrist. I bandaged it for you and while I sat there holding your swollen hand as gently as I could, I looked up and met your eyes and the depth of how I felt hit me all at once."

"Th-th-that was me." Yuri gritted his teeth and then leaned into the crook of Flynn's neck, taking deep breaths.

"That's right, it was you. You can fight this, Yuri. I know you can." Smell was the sense most closely connected to memory, Flynn knew. He hoped Yuri was breathing him in and remembering all the nights they spent lying close on the single mattress they could afford. "Listen to my voice, Yuri. I love you. Hold onto that. I love you so much and I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished. You can beat this, Yuri!"

Yuri dropped to his knees with a shout. He pressed his fists to his forehead and took heaving breaths. His voice in a staccato, he said, "Get – out – of – me!"

Flynn fell to one knee and rested a hand on Yuri's shoulder.

Yuri's hands fell and he hung his head. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"I did such horrible things." Yuri grimaced. "Karol probably hates me. And you-" he shuddered and had to look away. "That was disgusting. I am  _so_  sorry."

"Yuri, it's ok, we know it wasn't you. I'm just so glad you're you again. Is it gone completely?"

Yuri frowned. "I'm… not sure. I think so." He looked up and locked eyes on Flynn. "So… did you mean everything you said?"

Flynn's cheeks warmed as he thought back on the emotional words he'd gushed to pull out Yuri's true self. He didn't regret it, though. Anything to get Yuri back. "Yes… I did." He stared into Yuri's eyes, terrified he'd laugh it off and tell him not to be so sappy.

There was that look again. Their eyes rested on each other's and Flynn's chest swelled with the desire to grab Yuri, pull him close, and lock him in the biggest kiss of his life. In Aurnion, they'd shared a similar look, and it had happened again in his office right before it all went to hell. The first time, they should have gone through with it, but they hadn't. The second time, they shouldn't have, but Yuri did. And now they  _should_ , and Flynn did.

In a thousand daydreams, Flynn could never have imagined how perfect kissing Yuri truly would be. There was barely time to breathe between kisses, and hardly enough space on Yuri's face to contain them all. This was the homecoming he'd imagined – nothing but closeness and raw emotion. The whole world condensed to just the two of them in this perfect moment.

And then a knife slid into his stomach.

Yuri jerked away from him with a howl of, "No!"

Flynn choked and his hands instantly went to the hot liquid welling up on his stomach. It squeezed between his fingers as he took short gasps.

"No, no, no ha! Serves you right, you fuck! No!" The knife clinked as Yuri hurled it across the platform. "Flynn, I – just keel over and die already. You don't want the real me, so I don't no, no, I'm sorry! Flynn!" Yuri grabbed Flynn's shoulders and eased him onto his back. "I'm so sorry – I didn't mean to – I never wanted-"

Flynn took a shuddering breath. "It's n-n-not your fault."

Yuri reached for Flynn's wound to add pressure to Flynn's hands. Seconds after he made contact, his hands yanked away and he slapped Flynn across the face. "You shouldn't keep prying where it's not your business! You dammit! Damn, damn, damn!" Yuri jerkily rose to his feet, panting hard. "This isn't – no – I can't – you-"

Yuri whipped something out of his pocket. "Eat this!" he shouted and tossed a lemon gel at Flynn. Then he staggered backward, still muttering to himself.

Flynn heaved a breath and rolled on his side. His stomach blazed with pain and more blood squirted through his fingers. He risked pulling one hand away long enough to grab the gel and shoved it in his mouth. "Yuri," he groaned after swallowing. "You can… fight it…."

"It's going to hurt you!" Yuri neared the edge of the platform. "It's going to – I am you – no, you're not! I won't let you – this body is _mine_  – hurt Flynn."

The lemon gel had closed the wound, but Flynn still couldn't sit up. He kept his hands pressed on his agonized stomach while longing to jump up and run to Yuri.

Yuri twisted and grunted as he fought for control over his own mind. "I have to kill you, Flynn. You know too much and I want the others to think – fuck you! Don't you lay a finger on him! I'll kill you" Yuri's back thudded against a pillar. "You can't stop me! You're nothing! You can't do a thing!  _I am you!_ "

Yuri unleashed a cry of rage and smashed his fist into the stone pillar. "But I can take you with me." He gained control of himself long enough to meet Flynn's eyes. "Flynn – I'm sorry."

And without another word, he threw himself over the side of the platform.

* * *

How many times had Flynn and Yuri looked at each other over the years? The count must be in the thousands. They'd known each other for so long that quite often, a look was all it took to communicate complex meanings. Flynn could give Yuri a look that said 'pass me that sword – no, not that one, the other one' and Yuri would respond without a thought. All Yuri had to do to tell Flynn to get over here and check something out was meet his eyes across the room and give a little jerk of his head.

So why was it that they'd had so much trouble responding to this one look? They kept staring at each other, feeling the tension pulled tight, wanting nothing more than leap on it and hold the other in their arms. And yet, something always held them back. Every time, Flynn found excuses for why it wasn't the right time yet, always assuming that he and Yuri had the rest of their lives to deal with it.

Flynn was giving that look now. He stared straight ahead, the desire to hold Yuri close aching so deeply he might have been stabbed in the chest. It was too late for the gaze to work, though. Gravestones didn't initiate anything.

They'd buried Yuri in the lower quarter. There was no question that he would have wanted that. The tiny cemetery had been packed with guild members and lower quarter residents, and it was probably the first time in history an Emperor had attended such a funeral.

But they were all gone now. Even the rest of Yuri's friends had left after it became clear Flynn wanted to be alone. Only Repede remained, lying silently by his side while Flynn sat cross-legged before the grave.

What he wouldn't give to see Yuri's face one more time. It was hard to accept that Yuri really had just dropped out of his life when he plunged off the tower. By the time knights made it to the top of the platform to carry him down, others had already moved Yuri. All that was left was a dark red stain oozing between the cracks of the bricks. They couldn't show the body at the funeral, he'd been told while lying in the infirmary with Estelle casting healing artes, tears streaking her face. The fall had been too great. There wasn't a recognizable face to view.

He'd done it to save the others, Flynn told himself. This was the only idea that brought him any comfort. Yuri had recognized that he was a danger to others and decided to kill the consciousness taking him over even if it meant killing himself in the process. It was noble. It was brave. It was selfless.

No, it wasn't. Flynn's eyes ached with unshed tears. If Yuri was selfless, then he wouldn't have gone and left Flynn alone. Now he was stuck here wondering how he would have acted differently if he'd known their time together was limited. All those shared looks and unfulfilled desires, always pushed off for tomorrow, tomorrow….

Grass rustled as soft footsteps came closer. "Flynn."

He didn't have the energy to raise his head. "I'm all right, Lady Estellise."

Her dress crumpled as she sat. "I'm sorry. I thought of you all alone out here and I just had to check on you."

"You should go home. It's a long walk back to the castle."

"You have to make it, too."

"I hate being in the castle. It's too easy to remember that it's where he…" Flynn hung his head and curled his fingers in the grass. "I can't stop wondering if there's anything I could have done different."

Estelle wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "Me too."

They should have noticed what was wrong sooner. Every plea slipped into Yuri's speech ran through Flynn's mind and he hated himself for not realizing what was going on. They could have sat him down and worked out a solution before he picked up that knife and before he reached a high platform. Yuri had been crying for help and they all just thought he was grumpy.

But what were they supposed to think? No one would jump to the conclusion that their friend had been possessed by primal spirits. They couldn't have been expected to guess that. Either way, it didn't matter anymore. Yuri had been suffering and they hadn't even noticed until it affected them, and now Flynn couldn't sit in his office without thinking of how one of his last memories of Yuri was of being afraid of him.

Not his last memory, though. Flynn held onto that thought. They'd had one good kiss, for as long as it lasted. He wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life wondering if Yuri ever had returned his feelings. That last kiss was something he could cling to, even if it was like gripping a dagger from the pain of how it ended. They could have had so much more, though. If only he'd taken the plunge sooner, if only he hadn't been too afraid that Yuri wouldn't meet him halfway to take the first step.

"Estellise… have I ever told you how much I care about you?"

"Huh?"

"You're one of my best friends." She  _was_  his best friend now, but it hurt too much to think of it like that. "You've been such a good friend to me ever since I arrived at the castle. I love you so much."

Estelle leaned closer. "I know, Flynn. You're one of my best friends, too."

"I never felt comfortable telling you how much I valued your friendship. You were the princess and it was improper. But…" his voice croaked with the effort of speaking clearly while his eyes burned. "I always put off telling Yuri how I felt. There was always some reason why it was a bad time. I kept putting it off, and now we've run out of time. I don't want to miss my chance to tell anyone ever again."

Estelle nodded slowly. "To live is to choose, and to have the courage to make those choices – and the courage to carry them out. Yuri taught me that."

"It took me a long time to accept the path you chose. I wanted you to stay at the castle, where it was safe." The image of blood-soaked stones on the path behind the throne room pierced him; how ironic he'd thought the castle was the one place his friend would be safe. "Yuri made a choice to destroy the being inside him the only way he knew how, even if it cost him his life. I think, though, that it will take me a lot longer to come to terms with that decision." It might not happen until he finally got through thinking of all the times their eyes had met and they, for one reason or another, chose not to act on the feelings they equally shared.

"Do you know what I think?"

"Hm?"

"I think that if Yuri were here, he'd tell us we have to keep moving forward. And in this case… maybe forward means to the kitchen at the castle and the wonderful dessert selection. Yuri would have loved all the types of cakes the castle chefs can make."

Flynn had never had as much of a sweet tooth as Yuri did, but eating chocolates and cakes seemed a fitting memorial for Yuri. "All right." He rose to his feet and took her hand to help her up. "Let's go home."


End file.
